How to talk to your mom about something private

Whenever something gets a little too overwhelming for us, we often turn to our mothers and confide in them to make sense of the situation. However, talking about sensitive and private issues are certainly more challenging and you may also feel awkward even before beginning a conversation with your mother. What if you have a plan and few communication guides which can help you to talk to your mom and convey and seek suggestions in a healthy way?

Here are certain ways which will help you in communicating with your mom in a better manner:

Describe: Whenever you start a conversation with your mother, try to describe the situation objectively, this means sticking to the facts and the exact situation by avoiding your own opinion and interpretation. This will eventually get her on the same page and help her to introspect the conversation in a better way.

Express: The second step is to express yourself which means that you should let her know how the situation makes you feel by clearly expressing your feelings and desires. This is important because you should not expect her to read your mind and then provide a solution. Try using this line: “ I feel this way because…” or “This is something that makes me feel…”

Assert: Do not beat around the bush and say what you need to share without any hesitation. The conversation becomes honest or starts on an honest platform when you remain direct. Avoid saying, “Oh, well I don’t know how to start with or what to say but I want you to understand this situation”, instead try, “This is something I am going through and wanted to share with you”

You may not necessarily agree with what your mom is saying and at times you might feel that she is being judgmental but you should try to understand her point of view also and introspect where it is coming from. You need to be very attentive while she gives her perspective and tries consciously to make an effort to find the positive in the conversation and then build your communication around it.

Mindful: At any point in the conversation do not lose focus or get distracted or get into an argument with your mother. Remember, the ultimate objective is to have a mindful conversation with her.

Appear confident: If you are sharing something private, it is possible that your mother may not react in the way you expect her to. However, you still need to be calm and appear confident. Be considerate of your posture, body language, tone, and eye contact.

Negotiate: Remember, it is not possible to get the desired outcome every time you interact with your mother. Be open to negotiation and have an easygoing attitude. You do need some planning for effective communication which will provide fruitful results. It will also help you to build a better relationship with your mom. Build stronger relationships with your parents with the help of Longwalks app with prompts that help you discuss meaningful topics with family and friends.

By Mansi Sharma,Clinical & Rehabilitation Psychologist

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